Roughly four years ago, I bought myself a sit-stand desk for my home office. Sitting is sedentary and standing is healthier, I was told. As I wrote at the time, “My idea was that I would stand whenever I was working, and sit when I am not working. Given that the former tends to be more than the latter (especially since I consider writing work), I would be standing more than I would be sitting.”

The reality, much as I hate to admit it, is that after the first month or two, I’ve rarely stood at my desk. It quickly became obvious when my kids would ask, “Dad, how come you never stand at the desk?” Over the years, I considered many tricks: I would stand at my desk in the mornings. I would stand at my desk in the afternoons. I would stand during meetings (this latter means I’d often be standing 8 hours a day). None of it worked. Not even the idea that standing would improve my health and make me less sedentary. “Sedentary?” I’d tell myself, “I get out for a walk 2-1/2 twice a day. That’s not sedentary.”

Indeed, while walking this morning, I made a solemn promise to myself: First, that I would write a post about the first thing I saw when I returned to my office; second, that I would stand at my desk while writing it.

I was successful on the first point. My eyes caught sight of my desk as I stepped into the office, probably because I was keyed up about standing there to write. And so I wrote about my desk. However, I am notstanding as I write this. My laptop is sitting on my side-table, and I am sitting in my chair. My desk is sitting, too.

It is a terrible burden I bear, this guilt for not standing at my desk. I carry it through the day, as I attend virtual meetings and nearly everyone else I see on video is also not standing at their desks.