Losing Things

Kelly often misplaces things. Specifically, her car keys, or phone. A few times a week, she won’t be able to find her phone, and she’ll ask me to call her phone so that we can listen for the ring. This doesn’t help much when the phone is in the car, but for some reason, the car is always the last place we check.

For Christmas last year, I got Kelly a pack of Tile devices. You can attach these to things and then sync with your phone to help you find them. If you lose your phone, you can squeeze the Tile on your keys and it will signal your phone to ring. The problem is that I somehow managed to connect Kelly’s Tile to my phone and vice versa. It leads to a lot of confusion. I think the Tile has only helped up find Kelly’s keys once or twice.

I am less prone to losing things, so long as my routine isn’t broken. I walk in the house, and the first thing I do is hang my keys on the key rack. I hang my sunglasses there, too. But on those days when circumstance forces me into the house, and, say, immediately upstairs, my keys will end up on my office desk, where I forget about them. I’m reminded that I’ve forgotten at 5:50 the following morning when I go wearily to the key rack to get my keys and find them missing. Usually, I remember that I’ve placed them on my desk, but it messes up my morning routine, and I don’t get off to a good start.

There is one thing, however, that I have a talent for losing: the twist ties that go on the loaf of bread. I twist off the tie when I make a sandwich (using two slices of bread) for my lunch. I set it down on the countertop, and it immediately disintegrates. At least, that’s how it seems to me. I look around for it, but I can never find. The bread goes tieless for the remainder of its life. The same thing happens the next time.

I’ve set a knife on the counter, and placed the twist tie beside the knife so that I have a point of reference to search from when I am finished. But the twist tie is still gone. Where do these twist ties go? I have yet to find a secret stash of twist ties in some dark corner of the house.

What do you call someone who constantly loses things? The dictionary instructs that for a person or thing having a particular quality or form, you add a -er to the noun. That would make me a loser, but I don’t like the sound of that.

I’m at a loss for a better description.


  1. It’s not just you, those bread ties are surely designed to disintegrate. I keep a drawer full of clips, right below where I make sandwiches.

  2. My kids routinely lose stuff although they may as well be blindfolded for all the “looking” they do to find their stuff. We have a running joke that when they look for stuff, they tend to look with their butts and not their eyes. If they just turned around they would “see” what they are desperately searching for.

    As for the twisty things for bread, they are probably where the other socks are that I never seem to find when I sort the laundry.


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