How Things Should Not Work

A few days ago, I wrote about how things should work. That things don’t always work as they should surprises no one. In an effort to be fair and balanced, here are a few things I have noted recently that don’t work the way they should.

1. My dentist recently sent me an automated message reminding me that I had an appointment the following day. In the message, I was told that any change or cancellation to my appointment required 48 hours notice. The message was sent 14 hours before my appointment. Not only is that not right, it is as if the message is deliberately taunting me.

2. Why is it that when I turn on the hot water in the shower, it is hot almost instantly, but when I turn on the hot water at the sink in the same bathroom it takes several minutes to get hot? And yes, I have checked to make sure that the valve for the hot water on the sink is turned on all the way?

3. Growing up, I was told not to shake a can of Coca-Cola because when I opened it, it would explode. Occasionally, a can of Coke will fall out of my hands when I take it from the refrigerator. Opening it, even after a short fall, usually spells disaster. So why is it that when I buy a Coke from the vending machine in the office, the can of Coke seems to plummet a foot or more into the slot at the bottom? Do the people who make the machine not realize what happens when carbon dioxide is agitated in a contained space?

4. When there is a possibility of snow in the forecast, you cannot trust any reports you see on the local television news. Why a snow storm makes for different reporting than any other type of weather is beyond me. Weather people go a little nuts when they smell snow in the air.

5. Self-checkout in the grocery store should be cheaper than having a checkout person ring up your groceries, but I never see a “self-checkout” discount on my receipt.

6. Also, no one seems to be able to work the self-checkout lanes properly. When all six self-checkout units are occupied at our local grocery store, the only one that doesn’t have a flashing red light is the one that I am using. If I am still waiting on line, then all six have a flashing red light and the person assigned to monitor the self-checkout lanes is nowhere to be found.

7. If you have technical problem, the problem should not suddenly fix itself the minute you call the support line. If something is broken, it should stay broken so that the people on the support line don’t think you are crazy, a liar, or both.

I had three more examples, but I can’t remember them. My memory is another thing that doesn’t always work the way it should.