Tag: songs

A Leak in the Faucet of Life

I went into the bathroom a little while ago and noticed one of the faucets was leaking. For some reason, this triggered the instantaneous invention of a complete country-western song in my head. I ran out of the bathroom, and back to my office to write it down before I forgot it.

Keep in mind I have no musical talent whatsoever, except shower-singing. But I imagine this song being sung in the deep Garth Brooks kind of country twangy voice. Aside from that, I have no idea how the music would go. But here’s the song:

A Leak in the Faucet of Life

Funny, alternate reality, song lyrics

Sometimes, I mis-hear a song lyric intentionally because it sounds funnier the way I hear it, instead of the way it is sung. For example, just now, I was listening to my 80s playlist and Paul Yound’s “Every Time You Go Away” was playing. Don’t worry you’d know it if you heard it. Anyway, the chorus of the song goes, “Every time you go away/you take a piece of me with you.” However, I like to imagine him singing, “Every time you go away/you take a piece of meat with you”. For one thing, it changes the character of the song. Instead of a melancholy 80s love song, it becomes a song about an annoying,k carnivorous neighbor. And the difference between “me” and “meat” is so subtle, that I can almost hear him singing “meat” when I listen to the song. I can’t hear that song without laughing. I do the same thing with Paul Simon’s “You Can Call Me Al,” pretending my cat is singing, “You can call meow!”

So, what other songs out there can be made hysterical by just slightly altering a word in the chorus?

If I had $1,000,000

Ordinarily, I have a phenomenal memory for songs and can associate them with very specific activities when I first heard them. It’s uncanny and often quite eerie. Tonight I heard, for the second time in my life, The Barenaked Ladies “If I had $1,000,000”. I knew all of the lines, which is not unusual for me after hearing a song once. What is unusual is that I cannot remember where I first heard the song and it’s driving me nuts!

It wasn’t in that episode of Scrubs, I know that for sure. Someone played it for me, specifically for some reason that I can’t remember. Either that or it was in a movie, but that doesn’t feel right. I don’t think I first heard it in a movie. (Has it even been used in a moive?) No, someone wanted me to hear it. But who? And why? And when?

If you are that someone, please put me out of my misery. This will drive me nuts and I won’t get any sleep tonight and I’ll be cranky tomorrow and find it difficult to do my work. Help! Please help! Where did I hear this song before?

Feelin’ Love

I mentioned last week how I caught City of Angels on HBO. I like the music from the movie and went to Apple Music store shortly thereafter to see if they had the soundtrack. They didn’t. However, I was able to find all but three of the songs, so I put together a playlist that is an abridged version of the soundtrack.

I’ve been listening to it on and off this week because it’s mostly calming and I could use some of that, given how busy work is. Now, I have this talent, ability, call it what you will, where I can hear a song once and pretty much remember all of the lyrics of the song. The process is completely subconscious and completely out of my control. But I’ve always been able to do it.

Sometimes, I don’t even pay attention and still absorb the lyrics through osmosis. That happened this weekend. One of the songs is Paula Cole’s “Feelin’ Love”. While writing this weekend, I was listening to my soundtrack and heard that song a couple of times but paid no attention.

Then, yesterday, while I was in the shower, I noticed I was mumbling the song to myself. (I am, as those of you familiar with this blog will recall, an inveterate shower singer.) I got to one of the lines in the song and heard myself singing it, and couldn’t believe what I was singing. While I had absorbed the lyrics perfectly, I never actually listened to them until singing them in the shower. Whole Holy* cow! Those of you familiar with the song will know what I’m talking about. Them’s some of the most erotic lyrics I’ve heard in a long time! For those of you unfamiliar with the song, check them out. (Warning: while there are no explicit words used, these are some steamy verses…)

If memory serves me correctly, this song plays in the scene of the movie when Meg Ryan is in the bathtub.

Okay, it’s hot in here now.

* Thanks to strausmouse who has made it his second career catching all of my egregious, and often humorous, typos. What’re friends for!


I can be cheerfully self-appreciative in various ways which amuse or annoy people depending upon who you are. But I try to balance that out by ocassionally admitting my gross stupidities and inadequacies as well. After all, fair is fair.

Today, on the train ride home, I discovered what almost anyone who ever grew up in America probably already knew. For one reason or another, I had the “ABC” song in my head. It occurred to me, in a flash of insight, that the tune of the ABC song is the exact same tune as “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”.

How is it that it took 34 years for me to discover that?